he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
“for women who are ‘difficult’ to love” by Warsan Shire
We never stop talking about love. We are curious, puzzled by its accompanied shenanigans. Coffee, alcohol, food – are made delicious with a side order of conversations on love; and yet, in all this talk, there is something missing. And that, I think is an absence of reality – a desire to keep hidden all which is not perfect.
Of the beauty of love, we speak much and often.But what of the darkness of it? We do everything possible to hide that part, don’t we? A part that is all rage, frustration, and negativity. When we stop talking about darkness — and we have — we take away a woman’s ( and those who identify as women) means of coming to terms with the shifting landscapes of her desires and ambitions. Her reality has changed, so must the words
In love – ugliness, shame, fear, anger, passion, devotion, affection all come together to create dramatically individual experiences. The expression of which is watered down to remain within a normative story line, in a society quick to judge a woman for her choices while waiting breathlessly to label her a failure.
There has only ever been one dominant narrative of love – that of flowers, demureness, beauty and subtle manipulations. What then of those women who have been loud in their emotions and awkward in their confessions ? There must be those who wish for no doors to be opened and revel in one night stands. There must be women who aren’t clingy and women who have don’t get jealous, women who trust and don’t snoop. I wonder why I hear so very little of these women. Silence has never been conducive to building solidarity. It is far easier to talk about the lack of a girl code and call women catty than to look at how forcing an ideal on girls and women has isolated them in their journey of love.
A Woman in Love is an attempt to know more of the other kind of woman – the real one. This series is a growing collection of writings and artwork by various women and those who identify as women, as they grapple and engage with ideas, experiences, and journeys of love. It is is an attempt to build an understanding of love that is more honest and which reflects reality, so that women can be more true to themselves in their endeavour of love while learning and exploring their own ideas of perfection.
I hope that you enjoy the works listed below. They are as much love stories as they are the truth. Enjoy these stories, share them, discuss them and know that you are not alone in your feelings, whatever they may be.
I wish you luck in this expedition into the hearts of Amazons.
If you wish to contribute to the series, reach out to me by filling up a few details here.
- Shatter by Aletta D’cruz
- Parts of Me by Pankaja Balaji
- Conqueror by Anon
- Loving the Conqueror by Anon
- The Path Of Strewn Emotions by H.K.
- Challenge by Aletta D’cruz
- Collision by Pankaja Balaji
- Unsaid by Pallavi Saraswat
- What Happened this Afternoon by Zainab Kakal
- Lay Inside of Me by Kanika Sud
- Stranger by Silent
- The Formula by Maya Sharma Sriram
- The Blind Connoisseur by Pankaja Balaji
- Stage 2 by Spu